Friday, September 29, 2006

When it rains.... it pours

I suppose an update is way overdue with yet another debaucle of epic proportions. This story may in fact leave you exasperated, exhausted, frustrated, and disappointed. But never fear, I eventually crashed in my apartment and forgot all about my misadventures in the Netherlands.
I am a good driver. Although I drive too fast, disregard other cars in my path, and weave my way to an imaginary victory lane, I am a good driver. Really. So why is it that when I arrive in the Netherlands, suddenly I find my confidence in my ability to drive in any environment shaken like San Francisco when that quake hit during the world series? Well I'll tell you. The Dutch can't fucking drive. Well that's not really true. But they don't have the necessary requirements to actually drive a vehicle... namely... ROADS. Yes that's right, I am driving along these hallways the Dutch call roads attempting to follow the instructions spouted out to me in this condescending nasal English accent. You can imagine my frustration level in attempting to navigate my way through Dutch highways and roads succeeding only in annoying myself and causing my blood pressure to rise. I eventually make my way to the hotel only to wake up the following morning to try to drive outside of the city and into the countryside.
After driving for nearly 2 hours, I arrive at the site, do my job, and have an absolutely amazing day. (I would tell you but it's top secret. Therfore I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.)

Approximately 7PM I start heading back after deciding that I should probably wait to have dinner in Amsterdam. Again with the twists, the turns, the U turns and the miscues. I finally make it back to my hotel only to discover that the hotel is OUT... yes that's right OUT of hotel parking. An angry, foreign, Platinum Marriott member walks up to the desk to ascertain where she is supposed to park her rental car. (in case you didn't know that's me) Livid, I am tired, frustrated, and hungry, I find out that my only option is literaly to return my rental car to the airport 30 minutes away. There isn't enough room anywhere nearby that would allow me to park the car on the side of the street. Not to mention that theft is rampant here and they don't recommend me parking a car on the street unless I wanted to discover it gone in the morning. GREAT. Just fucking GREAT.

So I drive. I drive the 30 minutes to the airport, an additional 30 minutes in a futile attempt to find a gas station, and pull into the parking lot. Defeated, tired, hungry, and nearly in tears (for those of you who know me... know I don't DO NOT cry) I ask the Hertz attendant where I can find a gas station. Recognizing how exhausted I am, he takes pity on the poor American girl and gives me directions to the nearest gas station. After filling up, returning the car, returning the neverlost, and getting on the train back into Amsterdam Central, the hunger pains make me light headed. I am starving and arrive in Amsterdam central only to discover that it's now past 11pm and all diners are CLOSED. Yes. even the hotel doesn't serve after 11pm. This is just not my day. I had a bag of M&M's from the minbar and a glass of water for dinner before heading off to bed to get up at 5am. Yes. I had to be up in 6 hours to head back to the airport via the train so that I could get delayed, fly back to Austin, have my bags lose all of their clasps, and have someone else's poorly packed perfume spilled all over my bags. Don't you love travelling?

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

It's my blog and I'll blog if i want to

It's my blog and I'll blog if I want to... Blog if I want to... Blog if I want to... You would blog too if it happened to you!
Okay I digress from my silliness, but really. I have very little to actually blog about so I am going to tell yet another embarrassing crazy clumsy story. On my way to RTP this week from AUS through NAS, I was on the phone. My Cell phone. Casually I am walking down the hallway at the airport in NAS when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, as if I were playing a video game and a trap was sprung before my very eyes, one of those sets of chairs pops up. And I fall. I don't just casually hit it. Oh no. Not me. I fall over it, hitting my thigh in the process and doing a summersault over the top of it. Backpack, cell phone, and legs go sprawling on the ground like a passed out drunk frat daddy at his first keg party. And of course I make such a ruckus that everyone within a 2 mile radius hears it. The air traffic control tower was even alerted to the incident! "Attention tower.. metalchick has just fallen in terminal C. She fell over a stationary object bruising her right thigh and making a huge embarrassment of herself."
On other related notes, I am heading back to my hotel to go running after a long day's afternoon here in North Carolina! I have more stories to impart about dreams soon.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Uhmm...

I have the hiccups. HICCUP! That's about it. I can't stop. It's 2 am. I am sleepy. I have been drinking for hours to drown out the fact that I AM NOT MOVING TO EUROPE YET and now I can't sleep cause I keep hiccupping. Someone stop the savagery. Peace out!


PS. I sent really bad stupid drunk text messages. I will check this post tomorrow and feel stupid. YIPPEE for Me!