This is where I want to be right now. I just think it would be peaceful, relaxing, and serene. I don't really have much to say right now. I've gotten to go to Copenhagen where they showed me this thing called a Data Center. Yes. I know. novelty. Never seen racks upon racks of server and networking equipment. I've never entered a room with a fully equipped haylon system and gentle glow of florescent lights. Nope. never. Ever. Tomorrow I get to see a data center in Stuttgart Germany. Wee.

Castles? nope. Cathedrals? Nope. None... Just a bunch of data centers. Yippee. Hope everyone has a super awesome fun day. Much love.

In other news, the Canadians are getting decimated at hockey. It's been a good series thus far but I was hoping it would go to 7 games. Probably isn't going to happen.

Feels like today....

I just want to run. I want to hide. I want to be ME. If only I could figure out who ME is. Have you ever woken up one morning to realize that you need freedom? That every choice you've made up til now, moving here, taking the job that sucks your soul from your body, and not taking care of your passions has culminated in a single solitary moment when you realize that you want OUT. Admittedly I'm scared. I don't want to be poor. I like the disposable income I've accumulated. But what good does 800K airline miles do when no one wants to use them to come visit you? I want love. I want freedom. I want laughter. I don't want to be an engineer anymore. Well I do but not like this. I love people. I was made to be around people. I was made to be a great friend, fantastic lover, super cool sister, funny daughter, and did I mention fantastic lover? That's who I was meant to be. Here the ME I know has been reduced to flying here there and yonder encased in a shell of propriety known as professionalism. I NEED AN OUTLET. I just have to find one. Yesterday.

In other news today I fly to Newcastle to get DD some beer... and do a lot of work for a very large service provider... think BIG.. think Plano... think REALLY FUCKING BIG. Then about midnight I land back in London only to turn around and be in the city tomorrow, at the major networking company that we're partnering with, and then get on another flight off to Copenhagen. There less than 24 hours and then back to London where I have another meeting in Canary Wharf. Then it'll be Friday. Friday I have an interview. Wish me luck.

Oh and I cut myself shaving in my shower today. Bad. Like gross bad. I detest that the shower is so freaking small that you can't bend over and I have to do the precarious ballerina dance to attempt to shave my legs. Welcome to the not so great Britain where the shower is so freaking tiny you can't shave. No wonder hygiene is the last thing on their list here.

Vibrator Races

My sincerest apologies dearest friends for not posting lately. Admittedly I haven't been inspired to post funny, amusing tales. If you know me, you know how introspective I can sometimes be. This should not surprise you. For any of you that don't know me, know that my heart and my passion is like the sun, burning bright and bold even in darkness and amplified with solar flares. It's just who I am. I am learning to embrace my passionate creative side and make new choices with my life to become the woman I want to be.

Now onto the funny.

This week was a hectic week here at the office. There aren't many tales from my numerous 'admirers' from around the world. I heard from SwedishStalker, SeattleJoe, and StalkerSteve in the past months but nothing amusing to retell. I'm above that :) However I did meet the most hilarious man on Wednesday night. He works for a company where we are currently selling into. This company shall rename nameless to protect the innocent.... or not so innocent in this case. I shall call him, Scottish Bard, for that is who he is. Holding court around the bar, Scottish Bard retold stories of his misspent youth in drunken revelry. An older man, Scottish Bard suffers from short man syndrome and overcompensates by being HILARIOUS. He talks openly about his divorce, his new wife, and his passion for fishing... not catching but fishing. Every story had me clutching my side in laughter... tears were streaming down my face as my mouth froze into a perpetual smile. He was THAT funny. It wasn't the story itself or the words he chose that made it funny... it was the delivery. He had perfect comedic timing. He ends every routine with "Is that wrong?". Noo... It's not wrong to manipulate your ex-wife by insulting her new beau. Not at all.


My favorite story was one where he spoke of a time (admittedly not so long ago.. a year or two) where he was working with a manager down on Canary Wharf. Innocently I had mentioned that every girl needs a few accessories. I had NO idea that this innocent comment would lead me down a yellow brick road paved with lecherous intent. (apologies as my delivery won't come close to his animated storytelling style). One evening after a night of drinking the manager invited them over to his flat. The entire team was there and quite inebriated from the sound of it. The lady of the manor wasn't home but one of the team members found her stash of accessories... the naughty drawer. Clearing off the coffee table, the team decided to race all of the vibrators across the coffee table. After a frenzied pre-race shot, each member had their vibrator of choice. They took off and after a few minutes, it turns out the the rabbit won. He even characterized each type and described how the eggs would just turn around in circles. As with all of his stories, he ended with, "Is that wrong?" Not willing to admit I had been blushing the whole time, I replied with a very subtlety sarcastic "Nooo". In all of my stubbornness, I knew that this discourse was a test to see how I would react... Not allowing myself to admit that I was shocked, I put on a straight face and laughed. This was nothing compared to the Brown's conversation I overheard yesterday... I guess it's true what they say about the British... Chivalry is dead. British gentleman is most certainly an oxymoron. File all of this information in the things I never wanted to know box, filed away but not forgotten. So very educational.

Bank Holidays

Yesterday was a Bank Holiday. To normal people and by that I mean Americans, it means business as usual with the obvious small inconviniences of banks, schools, and public offices being closed. Normally a holiday isn't that big of a deal. Unfortunately the UK takes its holidays to extreme. Case in point, I arrived at my gym for my normal 6:30 run only to realize that the gym would be closed. It's a bank holiday. Lovely. (note: yes. pretty much everything either opened late or was closed entirely like shops, grocery stores, and dining establishments... any excuse not to work and the British will take it)

So, relentless in pursuing a good opportunity to work up a good sweat and lather, I decide to take my run outdoors.. in the pouring rain... on a path I've never tread before. Carpe Diem right?!? Yep. Absolutely. Emboldened by my adventurous spirit and devil may care attitude, I decided to take a quick drive to a small town called Goring, just off the River Thames. The web site for footpaths foretold of adventures unparalled anywhere in Europe. This quaint little town with its majestic views of manor houses and beautiful river front footpaths would inspire anyone. For once, the British weren't embellishing. It was really pretty even in the rain. I even got to see sites that I hadn't even thought about like glancing toward a manor house and seeing the rather old manor couple going at it like two dogs in heat... on the kitchen table... with all of the windows open... EWW! My eyes! A bit later I was so awe-inspired by the lock system used to push this huge yacht through the harbour that I failed to see this branch in my path. Yes. You guessed it right. Head over toes, I tumbled along the muddy hill like Joan Wilder in Romancing the Stone, except without the graceful plop and a handsome Michael Douglas to pick me up. Carefully feeling around to locate my glasses and IPOD, I popped back up and kept running... in the mud. Yes. I am smart. I had to keep running as the sun was coming out and I didn't have anything to cover the seats in my mini. What a great, smelly way to dry off!

What's really sad is I did this completely sober. Yes. You heard it here first... I'm totally sober. No more than 1 glass/bottle/pitcher of alcohol per 24 hours shall pass these lips. Ever again.

Oh and I stole a picture off some other website to show you what the view is supposed to look like when the sun is out. This lock mechanism is fascinating! I am such a nerd but I did walk back just to watch to see how they took this huge yacht through the lock. It was incredible engineering... Yes. I know... Panama canal on much smaller scale. Shhh. I'm a closet nerd. Peace. Much love.

Pleasure to meet you...

Oftentimes, people ask me just why i'm not dating here in the UK. Well the reason for this is best illustrated by personal encounters of the male species. Whether they are homo sapiens is still debatable. A couple of weeks ago, I was running late for after work drinks to meet our new sales executive. I was casually dressed in a chic t-shirt that had some scroll work on the front, jeans and jean jacket. Upon arriving at the pub, I started walking toward the table where my party was sitting only to have a mysterious hand caress my backside. When I finally reached my party, ignoring the slight from some slovenly drunk savage, I was introduced to the new sales executive who without a single greeting said, "Pardon me while I read your breasts." Laughing it off because I had no idea what else to do, he literally stared at my breasts for a full 2 minutes attempting to read the scrollwork on my shirt. Would you date these men? I've got more... much more where that came from.