Merry Christmas

I'm sorry I haven't posted more. I have a few updates which I have yet to put into a clear, concise thought. I will do that soon. However I did want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope Santa was very very good to you even if you were very very very naughty.

Anger Management

I very rarely get angry. Very rarely do I get so angry that I can hardly speak. The reason for this is when I get angry, I don't leave behind in Hurricane Metalchick's wake a couple of overturned chairs but my anger has far greater consequences. There is no physical mark left but a far greater consequence of leaving behind those words that will haunt a person for years to come. It is for this reason that I try to keep the tempest at bay. Unfortunately sometimes I fail. Yesterday it was a close call. A very very close call. You see, I have been trying to get in contact with my letting agent (aka person who manages the properties for rent) to finalize the letting agreement. I had phoned. I had emailed. I had already put down a 200 pound deposit. I just wanted to clarify one point. You see when I went to visit the flat (aka apartment) I had written down the address as 12 AddressStreet. But... BUT when I received the formal lease agreement it had 11 AddressStreet. An entirely different address all together! Deception really irks me. And ignoring my phone calls and emails on top of deception really really irks me to the point of no return. So yesterday, I bypassed a meeting and drove the 20 minutes into Reading to actually have a little chat with my letting agent. Eventually, after me sitting there demanding answers, I got what I wanted at the price that was promised to me and in writing. This whole move is really starting to get on my very very last nerve. I could scream. This morning I had to run for a full hour just to not yell at the next person I spoke to. And that's not me. Not me at all. I like people and I like being friendly and nice. But HOLY SHIT do I want to hurt someone right now. I can't wait for Dec 12. I can't wait can't wait. It's all i can think about!

A first...

I don't have much of a post today. But I did experience a first. (Other than my really good friend Vib) I received my first flower from a boy. Although I am not interested in dating him, it was really nice to get a flower from him. He bought me a rose at dinner the other night in Zoetermeer. It just made me feel really nice and good for a change. I've never had a boy buy me a flower or flowers. It was really nice. The end.


Apparently I have received more flowers than I remember. Vib sent them to me when I was sick and one of my other friends sent them as an apology. So this is occasion number 3 where I have received flowers from a boy. This is the first time it was intended as just a very nice thing to do for no apparent reason at all. Still very nice.

Old Country

Have you ever had one of those days? Yes. I suppose you could call it a case of the mondays if you prefer... where absolutely NOTHING... and I mean NOTHING goes your way. It's as if the gods looked down and in a callous twist of fate spite you with a simple wave of their oh soo blessed hand. Well Monday. Monday was one of those days. First let me preface this by saying that NOTHING in the UK is simple. Nothing. Even the most simple things that I take for granted are inconsistent in the UK. This is especially true for electricity. Electricity... Yes. I get power surges and have learned to protect my beloved laptop with dual power converters and a backup power supply to protect it from the ups and downs of the electricity surging through these buildings. It's no wonder Benjamin Franklin... An AMERICAN delivered after being ousted from this country. No wonder at all. I digress. Back to my spiteful day.

First things first. I am a at a bed and breakfast that also doubles as the local pub in this little tiny miniscule town called Aldermaston. (maps.google.co.uk ->aldermaston, berkshire... Then zoom out and find Reading. Yep. There I am... notice what's around me... NOTHING) There is all of 1 roundabout in this entire town and its singular claim to fame is that there is a wharf here full with a single draw bridge that congests traffic for 15 minutes! Landsakes alive it's a booming metropolis. This is where I am stuck. I am stuck at this bed and breakfast without a rental car for almost 2 days. I am told that breakfast will be served and it's free until half past 8. Great. Of course wouldn't you know it, after my 10 hour flight on Sunday, I collapsed exhausted into my bed. Of course I wake up after a very fitful and unrestful nights sleep at 8:31. GREAT. LOVELY. Thankfully there was still some prunes. yes. Prunes were still left out so that's what I had for breakfast.

After breakfast, I realize that my cell phone gets absolutely no reception here. Literally none. Not a single bar. No wonder I wasn't getting emails. GREAT. Now the rub... the wireless access that is supposed to work... doesn't work in my room. So I spend an hour walking around with my laptop trying to find a signal. Low and behold, I find the wireless access point in the BAR. yep. You got it right. In the pub that is already littered with a half dozen pub patrons.... It's 10 am PEOPLE on a MONDAY. Seriously. Get your ass to work instead of drinking into oblivion. I guess this town is even more depressing to them as it is to me. At least I have means to escape. So I sit. In the pub with my water and log in. I get on a conference call with Percy Sledge's - When a man loves a woman playing in the background and coughing up a lung as the tar from the cigarette smoke coats my ever so precious lungs. Every 15 minutes or so I am forced to take a break to breathe clean air outside in the damp English fall day.

Not to mention one of my coworkers encountered an issue and needed help with troubleshooting. So what did I have to do, stand in a single stop precariously balanced on one leg with my head out of the window to get cell reception. Yes. Picture it now. No wonder they think I'm weird. All I needed was an umbrella and a funky pair of yellow boots and I would have been ramona quiby age 8. Seriously people.

It's been a few days since that experience. It has taken me almost 3 to just get over the cell phone thing. The real kick in the pants was that I had to leave my hotel at noon to catch a flight that departed at 5:30 PM. To get to the airport, I had to take a car ride for an hour to a train station. Then wait for the train for 30 minutes (you must leave early because God forbid you don't allow for congestion on the M4). Then it was a 90 minute train ride to the airport (with one stop and wait). Of course I get to the airport about 2.5 hours before my scheduled flight because I really needed to check in and get to the airport lounge so that I could get work done... and they won't let me check in until 2 hours before the flight. @#*(^($#*^@#($*^*%#@_$*^#@_(%&^#@(^#$

Okay. Better now. Gotta love living in the OLD COUNTRY. There is a reason they call it that by the way and I am learning the hard way. Landsakes alive. I wanna go back to Texas with my sprawling lands and cows. And a puppy! If you haven't heard.... all I want for christmas is a small house and a PUPPY! I would do anything for that. Well... anything legal. so get your minds outta the gutter people. Sheesh!

Nerdy me...

I know I shouldn't find this hilarious but Foxtrot just makes me giggle. Kernel Panic!







And this reminds me of my bachelor friends! HAHAH you guys are so typical. Except for Sid Vicious... You are as always an exception to this rule.









Is it obvious that I am trying to overcompensate with funnies to avoid this huge diatribe that is building up inside of me? Hopefully everyone has a great week. I am off to Scotland for work and Brussels for fun!

YouTube rocks my socks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3baQGb2zIY&eurl=

OMG... I can't get over this. HILARIOUS.

Now Accepting Visa!

I got my Visa today. I can now legally work in the the EU and UK. Now I have 2 days to finish up all the moving stuff and get on a plane. I am now accepting Visa!

Leaving on a jet plane....

Aarau.. AACCchhhooo!

You wouldn't believe the week I've had. I'll just give you the highlights:

Texas A&M LOST... to Texas Tech... Did I also mention that I had somehow conviniently forgotten my tickets in Austin and had to scalp some additional tickets to get into the fucking game to see us lose to TECH?

I arrived on Monday prepared to take off to Switzerland. All was good with the world with the fine exception of my laptop decided to have a hard drive failure at DFW causing me not to have any of the data or materials that I'll need for the next 2 weeks of work in Switzerland.

Tuesday I find out I have the flu, complete with sniffling, congestion, fever, and body ache. I will spare you the nitty gritty details as it's making me sick all over again.

They have mosquitos here. Lots of them. On top of everything I look like I am breaking out in hives and itching feveriously.
That's about it. But I do have a funny story for you...

Wednesday morning after yet another night of doing that sit up in bed and attempt to fitfully sleep thing, I had the brilliant idea to take a shower. a hot one. With lots of steam. So I crank up the heat. With visions of being able to breathe again dancing in my head, I tenderly step into the steaming hot shower. As I am attempting to get dressed, the most unpleasant screeching siren starts directly above my head as I realize that the steam from my shower has just set off the smoke alarm in the room. The piece de resistance of my week is having the hotel staff walk into my hotel room while I am precariously standing on the bed waving frantically at the smoke detector with one hand and attempting to keep my last shred of dignity together in this hand towel they call a towel with the other. It was not my most graceful moment to date. Of course they don't speak English. Did you know that verrückt is crazy in German? What a wonderful wealth of knowledge I am acquiring on this visit.

When it rains.... it pours

I suppose an update is way overdue with yet another debaucle of epic proportions. This story may in fact leave you exasperated, exhausted, frustrated, and disappointed. But never fear, I eventually crashed in my apartment and forgot all about my misadventures in the Netherlands.
I am a good driver. Although I drive too fast, disregard other cars in my path, and weave my way to an imaginary victory lane, I am a good driver. Really. So why is it that when I arrive in the Netherlands, suddenly I find my confidence in my ability to drive in any environment shaken like San Francisco when that quake hit during the world series? Well I'll tell you. The Dutch can't fucking drive. Well that's not really true. But they don't have the necessary requirements to actually drive a vehicle... namely... ROADS. Yes that's right, I am driving along these hallways the Dutch call roads attempting to follow the instructions spouted out to me in this condescending nasal English accent. You can imagine my frustration level in attempting to navigate my way through Dutch highways and roads succeeding only in annoying myself and causing my blood pressure to rise. I eventually make my way to the hotel only to wake up the following morning to try to drive outside of the city and into the countryside.
After driving for nearly 2 hours, I arrive at the site, do my job, and have an absolutely amazing day. (I would tell you but it's top secret. Therfore I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you.)

Approximately 7PM I start heading back after deciding that I should probably wait to have dinner in Amsterdam. Again with the twists, the turns, the U turns and the miscues. I finally make it back to my hotel only to discover that the hotel is OUT... yes that's right OUT of hotel parking. An angry, foreign, Platinum Marriott member walks up to the desk to ascertain where she is supposed to park her rental car. (in case you didn't know that's me) Livid, I am tired, frustrated, and hungry, I find out that my only option is literaly to return my rental car to the airport 30 minutes away. There isn't enough room anywhere nearby that would allow me to park the car on the side of the street. Not to mention that theft is rampant here and they don't recommend me parking a car on the street unless I wanted to discover it gone in the morning. GREAT. Just fucking GREAT.

So I drive. I drive the 30 minutes to the airport, an additional 30 minutes in a futile attempt to find a gas station, and pull into the parking lot. Defeated, tired, hungry, and nearly in tears (for those of you who know me... know I don't DO NOT cry) I ask the Hertz attendant where I can find a gas station. Recognizing how exhausted I am, he takes pity on the poor American girl and gives me directions to the nearest gas station. After filling up, returning the car, returning the neverlost, and getting on the train back into Amsterdam Central, the hunger pains make me light headed. I am starving and arrive in Amsterdam central only to discover that it's now past 11pm and all diners are CLOSED. Yes. even the hotel doesn't serve after 11pm. This is just not my day. I had a bag of M&M's from the minbar and a glass of water for dinner before heading off to bed to get up at 5am. Yes. I had to be up in 6 hours to head back to the airport via the train so that I could get delayed, fly back to Austin, have my bags lose all of their clasps, and have someone else's poorly packed perfume spilled all over my bags. Don't you love travelling?

It's my blog and I'll blog if i want to

It's my blog and I'll blog if I want to... Blog if I want to... Blog if I want to... You would blog too if it happened to you!
Okay I digress from my silliness, but really. I have very little to actually blog about so I am going to tell yet another embarrassing crazy clumsy story. On my way to RTP this week from AUS through NAS, I was on the phone. My Cell phone. Casually I am walking down the hallway at the airport in NAS when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, as if I were playing a video game and a trap was sprung before my very eyes, one of those sets of chairs pops up. And I fall. I don't just casually hit it. Oh no. Not me. I fall over it, hitting my thigh in the process and doing a summersault over the top of it. Backpack, cell phone, and legs go sprawling on the ground like a passed out drunk frat daddy at his first keg party. And of course I make such a ruckus that everyone within a 2 mile radius hears it. The air traffic control tower was even alerted to the incident! "Attention tower.. metalchick has just fallen in terminal C. She fell over a stationary object bruising her right thigh and making a huge embarrassment of herself."
On other related notes, I am heading back to my hotel to go running after a long day's afternoon here in North Carolina! I have more stories to impart about dreams soon.

Uhmm...

I have the hiccups. HICCUP! That's about it. I can't stop. It's 2 am. I am sleepy. I have been drinking for hours to drown out the fact that I AM NOT MOVING TO EUROPE YET and now I can't sleep cause I keep hiccupping. Someone stop the savagery. Peace out!


PS. I sent really bad stupid drunk text messages. I will check this post tomorrow and feel stupid. YIPPEE for Me!

Play acting...

If "All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:"

Then why in real life do most people stay home and watch television as the life they wished they lived plays out before them on the stage? Why do we live vicariously through television and movies? You never see a person in the movies or television watching tv or spending a night alone in their apartment doing laundry, cleaning, and paying bills. I wonder.

How Appropriate...

Tonight as I am sitting down enjoying an incredible chinese dinner and a bottle (okay maybe 2) of wine, it occurs to us that I have incredibly bad karma. This is summarized at the end of the meal when the fortune cookies arrive. Like packs of wolves the group pounces on the fortune cookies to have each random grasp reveal the fortune of choice. Everyone else at the table received fortunes proffering prosperity and wealth of epic proportions. One even said that the person would live a lifetime of good fortune and happiness.

Then it comes time for me to unveil my fortune. Carefully I open the wrapper as if it were a precious gift from God... only to crack the fortune open with a resounding firecracker crack. Low and behold there is no fortune to be had. I am officially fortuneless. If only I had known to stop there things might have been recoverable. But no, I persist like in life onward and upward. The waiter is now officially scared of me as I reveal my bad fortune and luck. I feel like I am unveiling the Mona Lisa to the world and am stipped naked for the world to judge. The waiter brings back a huge sampling of fortunes for me, one even including two fortunes in the same self-contained package. A glimmer of hope arises as I feel my spirits rise and optomism return. Maybe I am not doomed afterall. Then it happens. In order, I open the 4 remaining fortunes desperately searching for some redemption... this is what they said:

"You will soon receive an unusual proposition"
"Someone is interested in you. Keep your eyes open."
"You will touch the hearts of many."
"Be patient. Good things will come to those who wait."

For anyone who knows me and my luck in this lifetime, you will recognize the amazing irony of these statements and come to the same conclusion that my friends and I came to... Karma really is a bitch.

Downward Spiral

A little over a week ago, I was in a hotel room working with a view overlooking Windsor Castle and the English countryside. My new office looks out to the door to the men's restroom where I get to watch people coming to and going from the restroom all day long. That about sums up my existance here in Austin.

Symphony for breakfast

Ahh the symphony. All of the instruments collectively combine to provide the ear with a pleasing and unrelenting single sound or voice. This morning was no exception. However instead of trumpets and violins, I ate breakfast to the sounds of children screaming and parents scolding. Yesterday was the last day of school for the British school children and subsequently everywhere you look, children are out and about enjoying their summer holidays. Since Legoland is a fascinating attraction for these schoolchildren, the hotel that I am staying at has suddenly become overrun with these kids. Granted, I love children. They're fun and have a spirit that hasn't yet been squashed by years and years of "EAT YOUR PEAS". So it's a pleasant if not loud branch from my normal hotel mornings filled with business people in ties on their way to work. I literally felt as though I had stepped into an insane asylum... or more appropriately a zoo. In less than five minutes I overheard the following stern admonishments by parents while at the same time they were being drowned out by their 5 year-old's screaming lungs. It was a sight to witness for sure. And you know what happens when you get a lot of children around one another, they have to show off. So each table of children was trying to outdo the children's misbehavior next to them. It was hilarious. I am sure the parents are exhausted, but it was fun to watch.

"Do not try to trip people with your monster truck"
"That is not funny. You're not funny. Stop eating like a pig."
"Do not put the knife in your mouth. Do not put the knife in your nose!?! "
"Please sit down. Please stop. no. no. Please don't do that."
"Say thank you. No. Do not stick your tongue out at your sister. Say thank you. "
"Do not jump on the seats"
"Stop hitting each other"
"Please be nice to your sister."
"THIS IS NOT A ZOO! Stop swinging from the chair! You're going to break something. "

And then quietly, a break in the cacophony as a lone child was trying to take his crossiant to the table with the thongs in hand. Every two steps he would lose his grip and drop the crossiant. Then he would gingerly pick it back up and put it into the thongs before heading back to the table again. Drop. Stop. Pickup with Thongs. Step. Drop. Repeat. Over and over again. Then the noise level picked back up to its usual cresendo. It was literally like a small entertainment piece orchestrated for my very eyes. It's all in the perspective that you take, although I don't think the hotel staff was amused.

This also happens to be the same hotel that when I checked in yesterday didn't have power, no lifs in operation, and wouldn't for quite some time. Gotta love the rollercoaster ride of travelling. Carpe Diem!

Singing in the rain.... Or NOT

So I would just like to take this opportunity to thank KLM for their superior customer service skills. Recently on one of the 18 flights I have taken in the past 2 months, (ahem. Flight 1021 that left out of Amsterdam for Heathrow last Saturday), I had the extreme pleasure of dealing with KLM and their amazing customer service skills.

Upon arrival and checkin, I lug my 2 months supply of clothes and life's valuables onto the conveyor belt only to be told that I am 1kg over my 20kg weight limit. Considering I have made 17 flights without issue and haven't bought anything, I incredulously ask the flight chick what she wants me to do about that. She just sits there and blinks. *Blink* *Blink* I again repeat twice, what are my options? She says to me, "You're over your weight limit. *blink* *blink*"

Yes. No kidding. What do you want me to do about that? So I start to unpack my bag in front of her... Requiring everyone to queue up behind me. She just sits there as I figure out how to get 1kg of weight out of the bag. I then shove a couple of shirts into my purse that I have for the carry on and complete check in. She never said anything else. Just stared at me and blinked.

Then, as I am leaving Holland, the skies open and rain pours forth from the sky. Amsterdam is weeping that I'm leaving and decides to keep me in the airport for 45 minutes extra. Thankfully KLM decided to leave my bags out under the plane for the rain to soak through. Thank you KLM for your wonderful service. You are amazing at customer satisfaction for when I arrived at Heathrow, I discovered that my whole 2 months work of clothes, including my dry clean only business attire are all soaked through and have gotten the opportunity to mingle with oil slick sludge from under the airplane. INCREDIBLE. Pictures are provided below as I took a picture when the rain started letting up of our bags left outside the airplane on the ground during the downpour.



Thank you again KLM - Your loyal customer

Grace Kelley Look out

Well it's known the world over that I lack grace, especially when faced with physically managing multiple objects at once. Case in point, this morning at the hotel gym, I ever so graciously tried to do the double flip dismount from the stair stepper only to unceremoniously land on my left shoulder. I do not fall well. Bruises have manifested where once was beautiful white skin. Trying to manage the heart rate monitor, the headphones and mp3 player, hotel room key, and a towel was simply too much for this able bodied Texas girl to handle. Oh well. It was quite clumsy of me but at least no one saw. Hopefully. I took the tape from the hotel security staff to ensure my integrity stays in tact.
An even scarier thought is that I have been driving in the UK for 2 days now ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE OF THE ROAD WITH ROUNDABOUTS without incident. Touch wood.... no not that kind.. the real kind.

Hotel, sweet hotel

Throughout my travels here in Holland, one thing has been predictable. I will get lost. No sense of direction or ability to read maps will assist me in my inevitable position. Lost. I am. But if I keep moving, I find my way. Throughout Eindhoven, Utrecht, and Amersfoot travels, roundabouts and misplaced/hard to read signs in Dutch contribute to this lost state of mind. It's positively the most out of place feeling to know you are lost in a foreign country without a single Clue as to where you actually are. So you just keep moving and then before your eyes, the hotel appears on the left. Trust your instincts and ask for directions. But keep moving on. Holland's a great place to discover these little tidbits.

Alternatively, once you arrive at the 3 or 5 star hotel with gourmet breakfast, lavish reception rooms, business centers, and comfortable style, you will only be disappointed at what they consider 5 star service. Overall the beds and rooms have been comfortable. They're pragmatic and convenient. But the other amenities like Internet access and elevators tend to be inconsistently inoperable. It makes for a roller coaster ride to see if the next hotel, the next destination has air conditioned rooms (due to the aforementioned heat wave), high speed Internet access that WORKS, and elevators or lifts. Their version of breakfast is also suspect with weird sausages and eggs. Most have the European style breakfasts of cold meats and cheeses which I have learned to appreciate at the beginning of my day. It's always an adventure here in paradise.

Flying back to London where I will be lost AND driving on the wrong side of the road. Fear me.

Heat Wave

So my friend, partner in crime, and awesome bassist Damian has been whining about Texas being hot. Well. Darlin. You're in TEXAS. You know this about Texas. It gets that way every year. Stop your bitchin. It's how the world turns. HOWEVER, I would like to say that Holland and the UK are NOT used to such high temperatures and are experiencing record heat waves right now in the 30+ (98F+) temperature zones. Couple that with the fact that most areas here don't have A/C and you have some very sweaty, dehydrated, weed smokin, sex having hippies on your hand. Seriously folks. This heat has got to go. Of course I am now being blamed for bringing in the hotness. I can't help it, I'm smokin hot! Heat waves just bask in my glory and arrive in my wake!

Today, one of the customers remarked, "Well it wasn't this hot before you got here, so I blame you. It must of been your rays of sunshine that brought out the heat wave." Heh. I can't help it. I'm good like that. So Damian, shush your whining. At least you have A/C... not AC/DC though... You SHOOK ME ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!

New Strings - Miranda Lambert

I bet this road will take me out of here
Take me far away from Amarillo
I bet this car will go real fast
The wheels might even drive me past
The places that you said I'd never go
Oh...

The Texas Sky is the biggest one I've seen
But it still aint big enough for you and me
All the things that make you mad,
All the baggage in your past
Don't leave much room for a girl like me to be
So I'll fill her up with hope and worn-out dreams

An I'll grab the wheel and point it west
Pack the good and leave the rest
I'll drive until I find the missing piece
You said I wouldn't get too far on a tank of gas
And an empty heart
But I have everything I'll ever need
I got this old guitar and a brand new set of strings

Mama said I never should have done it
Should have ended us before we ever started
Daddy knew about my pride so he stood there
And he smiled inside and I pretended that I
Didn't notice a little tear that fell when I said I was going

I've worried about life and
If it's arriving right on time
I guess if you don't jump
You'll never know if you can fly

Glamorous Lifestyles of the Working Class

I'd like to say that I haven't kept this blog up to date because well I've been busy having fun. While there is some truth to that statement and I am having a blast, I'm also doing a considerable amount of work. Yes. I know. ME?!? Work!!??!? Who would have thought it? Right now however, I find myself in a lull period. So what did I decide to do? Oh yes. You guessed it, expense reports. So off I go into the depths of my double-wide suitcase to unearth mounds of crumpled receipts for everything from flowers (a different story for a different day) to dinners to ahem... drinks to taxis. As I sit here quietly at my desk pondering my life away, I realize that I now have to figure out how to enter in hotel expenses where the hotel bill is in Sterling or Euros and my Credit Card shows US Dollars. Euros isn't so difficult. But finding the right exchange rate is unbelievably painful, especially knowing that I have to break out the bill by food, room rate, and taxes. YIPPEE. I lead such a glorious life. Be jealous. Swim in it until your fingers get all pringley.

Bad Luck

It's been universally decided that I am bad luck. With the World Cup going on in Germany, I have been a decidedly unfavorable fan of the home teams. While in London between my Copenhagen and Munchen engagements, I watched England lose in penalties to Italia. THEN to top it off, I was in Muchen watching Germany lose to Italia. The Germans are wanting to send me to Italia for the finals since I seem to be bad luck for the home country teams. They're officially kicking me out of the country.

First Post

This blog is meant to chronicle my misdaventures in Europe. I'd like to christen it with this quote, "Good girls keep journals. Bad girls don't have time"