Have you ever had one of those days? Yes. I suppose you could call it a case of the mondays if you prefer... where absolutely NOTHING... and I mean NOTHING goes your way. It's as if the gods looked down and in a callous twist of fate spite you with a simple wave of their oh soo blessed hand. Well Monday. Monday was one of those days. First let me preface this by saying that NOTHING in the UK is simple. Nothing. Even the most simple things that I take for granted are inconsistent in the UK. This is especially true for electricity. Electricity... Yes. I get power surges and have learned to protect my beloved laptop with dual power converters and a backup power supply to protect it from the ups and downs of the electricity surging through these buildings. It's no wonder Benjamin Franklin... An AMERICAN delivered after being ousted from this country. No wonder at all. I digress. Back to my spiteful day.
First things first. I am a at a bed and breakfast that also doubles as the local pub in this little tiny miniscule town called Aldermaston. (maps.google.co.uk ->aldermaston, berkshire... Then zoom out and find Reading. Yep. There I am... notice what's around me... NOTHING) There is all of 1 roundabout in this entire town and its singular claim to fame is that there is a wharf here full with a single draw bridge that congests traffic for 15 minutes! Landsakes alive it's a booming metropolis. This is where I am stuck. I am stuck at this bed and breakfast without a rental car for almost 2 days. I am told that breakfast will be served and it's free until half past 8. Great. Of course wouldn't you know it, after my 10 hour flight on Sunday, I collapsed exhausted into my bed. Of course I wake up after a very fitful and unrestful nights sleep at 8:31. GREAT. LOVELY. Thankfully there was still some prunes. yes. Prunes were still left out so that's what I had for breakfast.
After breakfast, I realize that my cell phone gets absolutely no reception here. Literally none. Not a single bar. No wonder I wasn't getting emails. GREAT. Now the rub... the wireless access that is supposed to work... doesn't work in my room. So I spend an hour walking around with my laptop trying to find a signal. Low and behold, I find the wireless access point in the BAR. yep. You got it right. In the pub that is already littered with a half dozen pub patrons.... It's 10 am PEOPLE on a MONDAY. Seriously. Get your ass to work instead of drinking into oblivion. I guess this town is even more depressing to them as it is to me. At least I have means to escape. So I sit. In the pub with my water and log in. I get on a conference call with Percy Sledge's - When a man loves a woman playing in the background and coughing up a lung as the tar from the cigarette smoke coats my ever so precious lungs. Every 15 minutes or so I am forced to take a break to breathe clean air outside in the damp English fall day.
Not to mention one of my coworkers encountered an issue and needed help with troubleshooting. So what did I have to do, stand in a single stop precariously balanced on one leg with my head out of the window to get cell reception. Yes. Picture it now. No wonder they think I'm weird. All I needed was an umbrella and a funky pair of yellow boots and I would have been ramona quiby age 8. Seriously people.
It's been a few days since that experience. It has taken me almost 3 to just get over the cell phone thing. The real kick in the pants was that I had to leave my hotel at noon to catch a flight that departed at 5:30 PM. To get to the airport, I had to take a car ride for an hour to a train station. Then wait for the train for 30 minutes (you must leave early because God forbid you don't allow for congestion on the M4). Then it was a 90 minute train ride to the airport (with one stop and wait). Of course I get to the airport about 2.5 hours before my scheduled flight because I really needed to check in and get to the airport lounge so that I could get work done... and they won't let me check in until 2 hours before the flight. @#*(^($#*^@#($*^*%#@_$*^#@_(%&^#@(^#$
Okay. Better now. Gotta love living in the OLD COUNTRY. There is a reason they call it that by the way and I am learning the hard way. Landsakes alive. I wanna go back to Texas with my sprawling lands and cows. And a puppy! If you haven't heard.... all I want for christmas is a small house and a PUPPY! I would do anything for that. Well... anything legal. so get your minds outta the gutter people. Sheesh!
4 comments:
Yeah, you had to throw the "legal" in there, just to prevent me from giving you about 1938495833 ideas.
Now I'm down to 4.
Thanks.
Just 4... and I thought you had an active imagination! :)
You can have my dog. She ate my $90 pair of shoes. Again. I want to throttle her. but I wont. But I want to
Don't throttle the dog... that would be bad. I soo want a cute small little house in the country with a puppy. That's all i dream about. Last night I had a dream that I was sleeping in my bed with my teddy bear back in Austin. How sad is that? Dreaming about sleeping?
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