I just want to run. I want to hide. I want to be ME. If only I could figure out who ME is. Have you ever woken up one morning to realize that you need freedom? That every choice you've made up til now, moving here, taking the job that sucks your soul from your body, and not taking care of your passions has culminated in a single solitary moment when you realize that you want OUT. Admittedly I'm scared. I don't want to be poor. I like the disposable income I've accumulated. But what good does 800K airline miles do when no one wants to use them to come visit you? I want love. I want freedom. I want laughter. I don't want to be an engineer anymore. Well I do but not like this. I love people. I was made to be around people. I was made to be a great friend, fantastic lover, super cool sister, funny daughter, and did I mention fantastic lover? That's who I was meant to be. Here the ME I know has been reduced to flying here there and yonder encased in a shell of propriety known as professionalism. I NEED AN OUTLET. I just have to find one. Yesterday.
In other news today I fly to Newcastle to get DD some beer... and do a lot of work for a very large service provider... think BIG.. think Plano... think REALLY FUCKING BIG. Then about midnight I land back in London only to turn around and be in the city tomorrow, at the major networking company that we're partnering with, and then get on another flight off to Copenhagen. There less than 24 hours and then back to London where I have another meeting in Canary Wharf. Then it'll be Friday. Friday I have an interview. Wish me luck.
Oh and I cut myself shaving in my shower today. Bad. Like gross bad. I detest that the shower is so freaking small that you can't bend over and I have to do the precarious ballerina dance to attempt to shave my legs. Welcome to the not so great Britain where the shower is so freaking tiny you can't shave. No wonder hygiene is the last thing on their list here.
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4 comments:
I think thats part of being an engineer. I know I'm dealing with the same kind of issues in my life. I just know I don't want to do this for ever but for now it pays the bills until i figure something else out. I wanna do something fun and creative. For now I deal with it by trying to do the things I dream off in my free time. Theres been a lot of painting and picture taking going on. Do you have a hobby?
Hey best of luck with your interview.
Xerxes! Aww it's nice to hear from you. You would be awesome at a lot of things creative and inspirational. I'm sure you'll find something really cool to do. Where are your pictures? I miss ya!
I have a hobby... dancing, reading, daydreaming about being a different girl :)
Best of luck with the interview. Please keep us posted. We miss you!!! Hope to see you soon!!
I'm sure your a fantastic lover, you sweet thing!!!
Love ya,
Denise
OMG you've got that many miles and nobody to fly to you???!! Hello!!! You coulda asked me and I'd have been there in a heartbeat!! I miss Europe!!!
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