This past week, I spent the week in France. It was an amazing week filled with lots of laughter, wine, and good people. I felt at home again getting an opportunity to see the people I work with from the states. I had a great time but I have lingering doubts that I am not made for this. I am not made for sales. I don't think.
For example, I can't seem to get this one gentleman out of my head. In his suspenders and waist-high pants, he comes up to me during booth duty and thrusts one of our glossy data sheets in his hand. His eyes were alight with wonder and awe as he told me how he is a professor at a Polish university and was interested in our products. He seemed soo trusting. So humble. So sweet. He would amble forward in his little cardigan and fill the world with his own thoughts and ideas. It made me wish I were back in school. Instead I looked at him and smiled. We talked for a bit but unfortunately they can't afford to have our products. I had to turn him away although I pointed him to one of our resellers. It just broke my heart. I was torn. My heart was saddened and for the first time in a long time I felt ashamed for what I do. Materialism doesn't become me. I am fine without the money, the cars, the pretty clothes. I want to be back in my world of idealism. Where the world is still possible. Jerry McGuire has nothing on me I suppose :)
Perhaps my heart can take such brutal beatings as it has endured and keep beating. It still has hope. I still believe. But, I don't know if my soul will ever survive this occupation. Where do I go from here?
In other news, I washed a set of laundry today in my washer/dryer combo... It only took 2.5 hours and a lot of water... These little all in one combos are renowned for their leaking seals and inability to dry anything... And they were right... I have laid all of my intimate apparel out on the table and hung from the rafters to let it air dry. I am just glad I don't live with anyone... they'd be surrounded by lace and silk. More adventures to come... You have to hear my story about my night in an Irish pub in France!
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2 comments:
Yeah, you don't strike me as the 'sales type'. You're a techie, like me. You all about telling people what something actually does or doesn't do, as opposed to blinding them with a dizzying array of quick facts and marketing buzz just to make the sale.
I'm sure you'll do well - you're awesome like that - but it very well may be a joyless occupation, in the short term.
I miss you.
You are entirely right. I am much better at the 1's and 0's. I really enjoy finding out how something works and then telling everyone about it. It is just who I am.
I miss you too! Miss rockin out to some NoneTheLess action! Y'all gotta come on tour to Europe.
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